Creating Boundaries: Isn’t it your time to COME ALIVE?
By the time we reach midlife, we have spent so many years caring for and doing things for many people. The list seems endless: our spouses, our children, our parents and siblings, our friends, our communities, and our co-workers, employees, and clients. Women, in particular, tend to do everything for everybody else, and frequently leave little time for ourselves.? When and if we do, it is an afterthought. It is squeezed in. It isn’t scheduled. And we feel guilty for taking that time. That was me for many years.
I read an article recently about women entrepreneurs. Many spoke of spending years working in offices, and then making the decision to start a business and work from home. As soon as they started working from home, their spouses and children expected them to be available to do non-business related things because, well, they were at home, weren’t they?
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I like this example because it highlights the need to create boundaries, and that isn’t always easy ? it means breaking long-established patterns of behavior! But boundaries are the key to beginning to focus more on your own needs, and also the ability to be present and more intentional in your own life.? It is like taking back ownership of ?you?.? It doesn’t mean that you care any less about your loved ones, friends, co-workers or community. It does mean you are actually showing how much you care by being present as your best self. That can only happen when you’ve established appropriate boundaries and enabled your own light to shine through!
I invite you to take a moment to savor the quote that I shared this week from Howard Thurman:?? Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
I have been through a huge transformation myself, and I know that creating my boundaries was a huge first step. Because I took that step, my life is very different. I always had a sense of purpose – I think we all do whether it is acknowledged or not – but now, more than ever, I feel like my actions and my purpose are more aligned than ever. When we are present, intentional and have this sense of integrity in our lives, we can see possibilities and feel excitement — we feel more alive! I want that for each of you!