Change, Fear, Courage and Letting Go
Change is hard.? We have to abandon our status quo and leave our comfort zone. Going through a major life change, whether we choose it, or it is thrust upon us, is daunting. It can be really scary, and perhaps more so when we are over 40. As we get older, we may not feel as resilient as we did in our 20?s and 30?s.? Often we feel like we have more to lose now, and we will be thrust in to uncertainty and have to deal with the new and unfamiliar. This is true whether we are looking at a career change, a move to a new community, or a relationship change, like divorce.
Perhaps scariest of all, we will be starting over. Our self-esteem and self-worth take a beating. We feel like we have failed, even though – especially if the major life change is divorce – there are two of us involved. ?It simply isn?t all on us!? Still, shame and self-doubt creep into our thoughts. Those inner voices tell us that we didn?t try hard enough, didn?t do enough, or weren?t ?good enough? (feel free to insert your own personal broken record) play over and over again.
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Does any or all of this sound familiar?
Recently, I shared this quote from Socrates with you: ?The secret to change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.? Let?s stop for a moment and think about what this means.
A brand new blank canvas may be a little scary, but isn?t it also really exciting? Do you suddenly feel hopeful and maybe just a little excited? I do.? Building something new is invigorating and life affirming. It is challenging. ?But right now that beautiful new blank canvas is waiting for you to create, to reinvent, to write a new positive narrative. And that is very powerful. It is exhilarating! It is forward movement.
We are much more resilient than we think at midlife. In many ways, we have a better sense of ourselves and what we are capable of than we ever did at any other time in our lives. Let?s embrace it! If we haven?t had the time and energy before, now is the time to figure ourselves out. We must take that opportunity and embrace it! Let?s be courageous, move forward, paint that new canvas, and let go of what?s old. It is going to be ok.
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